Ferns.

Yes.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns

Geoduck Grand Champion.

You may now only refer to me as "The Grand Champion", or "His Holiness The Grand Champion." (With or without a French affect)

My dad and I won this year's Andrews family reunion bocce ball tournament, crushing and destroying opponents with suregeon-accurate precision and ruthless antics. I last won in 1998, so it's been a long time coming for the 2nd hoisting of the glorious trophy which represents the pinnacle of athletics. Actually, I wasn't super into the bocce ball stuff when it started, the weather was so glorious I wanted to be dragged behind a boat on an inner tube instead...

Friday night I left work and headed down to the house outside Allyn, and slept out on the deck, with a nearly full moon lighting the bay. It was warm and summer out. Saturday was a day of hijinks, the aforementioned bocce ball, geoduck hunting (which is muddy and fun and wild), volleyball, cooking, hot tubbing....life is tough.

I did all the cooking this year, which was a first, and I went pretty big:

-Sockeye Salmon with Quilicum beach scallop ceviche

-A small farm pork rib roast (Pork Prime Rib) with roasted apricot-dijon-coriander (seed) bbq sauce

-Perfect potato salad

-White beans with braised fennel and arugula

-Ripe summer tomatoes, pickling cukes and celery salad with a sweet sherry vinaigrette

-Geoduck a la Plancha de Washington, a Spanish affair with chorizo, tomatoes and green onions

(cleaning the geoduck was odd.....)

-Brown sugar poached apricot buckle (I forgot the mint whipped cream I had planned)

And then I spent the night out there again, and it was another fine evening. The place really is fine..... I plan on heading out there again sometime this summer, as it's only an hour away, and it really is underused according to the relatives that own it. So y'alls invited!

Lots.

It's been a weekend of lots. Lots of friends, lots of bloody marys, lots of highlife, lots of outside sitting, lots of ducks, lots of life.

The party went rather well- lower turn out than I'd hoped for, but whatever. More booze for the serious folks. That rolled downhill into hanging out all day and night with friends.

Which rolled right into a brick wall of pain Monday morning. I went into work to do a few things, rather slowly, and then headed to Capitol Hill to hang with Gregor, visiting from Edinburgh. We travelled from Cafe Presse, to the P-I, to Art of the Table's happy monday, to King's in Ballard. Sun followed us the whole day, and naturally fine conversation flowed. I was rather beat afterwards, and woke up early today to play paintball with people from work. It was going really well (minimal pain incurred via high velocity paint), when 5 minutes before the end, I wrecked my back. I am pretty hurt, and need to get into better shape once I heal enough to...

But there's a new kitchen at work- new equipment! New refrigeration and heat and storage and tables! I am loving it tomorrow (if my back is ok!) I've never cooked with brand new stuff except culinary school. Will take some pics tomorrow....

///.

I am scheming/plotting/getting ready for the bloody mary party/soire/shin dig on Sunday.

Who knows what special treats/delights/culinary train wrecks will happen/be presented/change the world?

We will find out/expectorate.

Weekend Roundup.

I had a weekend of enjoyment, after a long and tiring week (6 days, 60 hours).

I enjoyed a summer eve on Saturday, outside mostly, in the fine weather. I love sitting around outside in the summer air at night. The coolness is lovely.

Sunday was, of course, the World Cup Final. I attended a party, and watched a rather dull game, full of fouls that will tarnish the legacy of this Dutch side. But Spain won in the end, and I liked to see that, since it means essentially FC Barcelona are the world champs....

And then I headed up to Vancouver, to see not only Beth, but her parents, and her boyfriend Chris, who is around for a few months too. It was enjoyable and an honor to see the parents, and we went to Lynn canyon, a place I'd like to explore more, and laze in the river. We then returned to their posh hotel and had high tea. Tea sandwiches are so odd. They range from insipid to spongey, to archaic, to too rich. English genteel ladies were/are/will be odd. But the tea was lovely, as were the biscuits that they called scones.....

Returned to Seattle last night, and after a large Chinese bbq dinner, I got pulled over, for expired tabs in my brother's car. I knew this. The 1st officer was nice, and just wanted to make sure my record was clear. He took my license, and another cop returned and asked me if I was "DOC active." I became confused, she become angry, and then asked me if I had a parole officer. I guffawed, which incensed her more. I've never been arrested, contrary to what you may think! They got their issue corrected, and let me go after too long. (wrong birthday- a entry level mistake I think....)

Finished off the night with a nice 7 hour nap....

VanDreams.

For some reason, I got this idea in my head of an epic, trans-America road-trip. An almost circumnavigational one. When I tried to get directions from google maps, it blew the entire system of computerized map-makers up, and left a smoldering pile of rubble behind. That is the level of epic-osity.

In a conversion van no less. I've looked into it.....the vehicle of perfectness doesn't exist though: a 2 captained chaired, bed, cooking area, entertainment system in a diesel, made in the 90's. And it's painted green as an alligator. And it flies.

A flying Wani-Van! (A WV, not a VW.)

Anyways, this is what I think of when I have a spare moment and walk to the store for coffee in the morning. Besides, the new menu debuted to much acclaim- I am far happier with this one than the past ones. It needs an appropriate wine list, which I have to sort out now....

Heads Up Cuz.

When I was camping, I concluded that my NZ Immigration debacle had one last gasp: a letter to the Immigration minister. (Read it if you care....)

I tried to impart on him that the best chefs in the world never went to school, that cooking is a craft, and cannot be measured by a degree. A subtle petition for myself was perhaps laid out, but I expect nothing to come from this, other than a "Thanks for the heads up cuz." (It is NZ, and they speak like that there, even MPs from Northcote!)

So, yeah. I have given up on doing things the right way, the correct way. Are there other options? Yes. But I haven't really given too much thought to those ways, as other things around these parts require attention. Bottom line is this: money. I need it, and am saving up for the eventual return to Wani-san Glory. (That's my band's name, number one hit: Wani-san no groly. Inside joke: for Trever).

Happy 4th of July everyone. Freedom isn't free, and neither is the movement to another nation! (I just had the idea that if the US conquered NZ, I could live there then!)

July.

This is my new July dinner menu:

I also have a blown-up kitchen with Russians in it at the moment, and a breakfast menu with bacon-pancakes on the menu. And I am staying in this Friday evening, 'cause Thursday was big, oh so big. Sleep!

Alone In The Wild.

I went out there, but not to the Pacific like I had intended. The ferry line was too great, the day had advanced too much for me to wait that time, and the allure of Sunday morning's World Cup games was far too enticing. So I went out Saturday (For the 1st time in 2 weeks! Breakfast shift tends to make you not want to go out!) with Dustin to the bar of choice. Now the bar of choice has the bartender of choice, who brings the beer of choice. That's why they're all choice-as, bro. And when that happens, and you go home late, and wake up early, and watch games, and are "crudo" as they say in Mexico, then camping is very hard.

So I failed a 2nd night to go. But I had a plan of attack that I followed for today:

Wake up early. This was important. Drive up into the mountains. Also important. Walk up the middle for of the Snoqualmie river, where no one else was, and make lunch, eat with bears, and ponder, study and examine life, my life that it has become. And so I did.

Conclusion: not much new. If I have a desire to return to NZ, it's DesireLite. I have little fight left in me: exactly one piece of correspondence to the Minister, just to rile some feathers, because I instigate. If I return to NZ, to live legally, I need to find a job beforehand, which I am in a pretty fine position to do so now, as I am the chef of a hotel restaurant. That's pretty good. Or, I can write up a business plan with another kiwi, and explore that option. I had thought of that when I was living in the Hutt last, and it seemed difficult, far fetched, and potentially risky for another person. But, hey, who wants to open up my Lewis and Clark themed American Bar? It's cool. I promise.

Also, I defined what my goals are for the current position, both short and long term. I have no qualms about my current positions; it's whatever I want it to be, and it pays me decent for the work load. And I have a life separate from there.

But future adventures? I dreamed about those, with places falling onto my paper from my pen rapidly. I need more money, or a patron. I look in your direction!

Wellington, WA.

First off, I just found out about Wellington Washington. I just saw it on google maps....

I am going camping, after watching the US beat Ghana on Saturday, and after working the opening breakfast shift (it will be the last one in this stretch!) I was looking on the map- thinking about the Wenatchee area, and saw the Wellington name around those parts.....

In proper Wellington news, the point of this upcoming camping trip is to sort out what is next. Is it NZ? Is it a letter to Jonathan Coleman once again? Is it formulating a business plan that one of you kindly readers/friends and/or acquaintances down under want to "go in on?" Or is this really a proper sign that my place is here in Seattle? Or do I take it that I really need to explore somewhere else? India? Argentina? Costa Rica? Chicago? D.C? I have no well formulated ideas, other than I am burnt out and behind at work. No days off, short a man, and things back-logging because I have to cook everyday, and it takes my full attention to keep the train rolling down those tracks....

So, plant some seeds in my head to ponder on while I am away....

Irony.

.....And then there's this, brought to my attention by the Tallest Ninja, Ben Davie.

Really. It could be an elaborate prank of sorts.

Other than that, I am working very early, too early to cook breakfast, and then staying into the dinner service hours. For 12 days straight.

But then I will be rewarded with sweet nature time, in my tent, away from the stress and annoyance of trivial work matters!

Maybe.

I am exhausted. I am on the breakfast shift. Who wakes up at 5am regularly and is cool? It's harsh, especially when you have to pull a 12+hour shift, and it's for 12 days in a row.....

BUT, when this is over (the 26th), I'll skip town, camp solo, and ponder and/or mull the ideas that pop into my head regarding my future when I am sleep walking/blogging/cooking eggs.....

Here? Maybe. There? Maybe. We'll see... the nature sorts things out in my head for sure. Goodnight, I am going to bed before it's completely dark out.

Next.

Well, it came today: the news.

"Dear Mr Andrews

Thank you for your email.

I have completed the assessment of your EOI and I regret to advise that I am not able to invite you to apply for residence at this time. Please refer to my letter attached for further details.

I understand that my decision will come as a disappointment to you, however, we do not have the discretion to make exceptions to policy so must follow it as it currently stands.

If you would like to start a business in New Zeland you may be eligible to apply under one of the Business Categories below:

http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migrant/stream/invest/

For more information regarding other categories including Silver Fern Policies please visit our website at

http://www.immigration.govt.nz/migrant/stream/work/

Kind regards

.....

So. A year and a half in the making, it is done. And I am right back to where I started: my only option is to start a business in NZ, which I need $100,000 for, and to employ 3 Kiwis.

Or, start a business with a Kiwi.

OR, marry one.

I am not surprised; I had a feeling this would be the answer once my NZQA assessment arrived. I can just imagine the case worker's relief of ridding me in her files. But I may be crazy at that. Now, what's next?

Awaiting.

Greetings. It has been a while since I posted. Either I've been rather busy, or nothing happens I feel.

Events of the last week:

-Work has been stressful with personnel issues, as well as many other things on my plate there.

-Friends of mine have graduated from the UW school of music. Congrats to Kenji and Emily.

-World Cup action. Spending time watching that, but not too much time, like waking up early to catch action. Maybe later this week, when I have to work breakfast shift at 6am anyways.

-My friends Morgan and Caroline are going to have a baby. Amazing! They can name it Alligator if they so choose....boy or girl. Congratulations to them as well.

-Received NZQA assessment. More now:

I opened up my envelope and found out two surprising things. First, I got a B on my internship, which I never knew. I can't figure out why- it was the only non-A I got in school. Maybe it is because I burned my foot?

And, secondly, my school was awarded a "level 3 certificate." That is not good for my NZ Immigration path. I needed a 4 for points. I wrote to notify my case worker the results, and to update some information, and I noted that it is unfortunate that I never actually get to have a face to face interview with anyone regarding my immigration application. Lament that fact, because everyone I know would think, "there's a swell fellow. He should live in NZ if he wants." So. I await her decision, which I am afraid she'll just laugh, and say, "good riddance to this guy!" I'm probably a thorn in her side.

Which leaves me waiting, but regardless, I need to save money, which I am doing so. Not at a prodigious pace, but fine enough. And perhaps a trip to NZ at least could be arranged after the beginning of the year- and a new baby to see to boot! So yes, I wait for the final verdict on my year and a half relationship with Immigration NZ.....

Rustic.

My NZQA result is being sent to me. I have a tracking number that does not track, nor do I know exactly what company to track it with. But a major future decision is in some envelope somewhere in this world. It was sent the 4th, so it'll be here sometime this week I hope. I am slightly nervous perhaps....

This weekend I attended the recital of my friend Emily, who blew me away with her fiddlin'. I know she only tolerates barely my calling playing violin, "fiddlin'," but hey, I am rustic.

Also happened to the Alligator: some nice meals at Dustin's, a 4th birthday party at Art of the Table, a new hat (I discovered the accessories aspect of hat bands, enabling more options), Mex-oulet, the Mexican cassoulet, and watching the beautifully shot movie Tetro, by Coppola.

This week will be rather crazy and quick- it's the last week for UW before graduation, as well as the opening of the world cup! Go USA (although Spain will win I think....)

Junior.

Ken Griffey Jr, one of my child-hood heroes, announced his retirement today. I still remember the awesomeness of the '95 season, and how it reached its zenith:

He was the best player of the 1990's, and undoubtedly, his leaving for Cincinnati cut short what his full potential could have accomplished. The kid....

Bomb.com.

This last holiday weekend was tiring. So much to do, so many people to see, and so much food to cook. Monday's pre-planned Memorial Day Luncheon was postponed to the future, and will be known as the Luncheon-To-Be-Named-Later. Like a trade. We had a bbq nevertheless.... Family visiting from out of town: my step-sister Sarah, and my bro/in/law Taylor. We ate like the kings I know I am.

Local Produce, aka, spring onions, rhubarb, asparagus, and the mint is for juleps.

Spring Onions and Corona beans for the baked beans. Those beans are Gigante!

An uncooked bean is this big.

My plate of cooke bacon, from Zoe's meats. It's as good as bacon love gets.

My plate: Wagyu skirt steak, grass-fed beef burger, grilled asparagus, caesar salad, and the baked beans (with the aforementioned bacon, as well as their chorizo action.)

The buffet.

Sarah rockin' the rhubarb crisp. Serve with vanilla ice cream to visit the bomb.com.

Translator.

I remember when I was in high school, and discovered that there were internet translators around. Did they work? No! Did I utilize them? Yes, sometimes! But did I understand that they were maybe fine to get the general idea of the text? Maybe!

This should've been out there, letting me know I shouldn't of been using them.

My test: "The Alligator is Amazing". The result: "Strange Crocodile" (10 results), "Awkward Alligator" (25 results), and "Set School" (Max results). So yeah. Where do I get a UN translator job between North and South Korea? Imagine: "They said what about my skiing?!?" (I put in missile defense......)

I Am Crazy.

I do have to say that the more I think about this damn recipe below this, the more I have to make it. Am I ill? Or crazy? One thing that I've noted in my repetitious reading of the recipe is the assumption that the executor of said recipe has a very high level of skill and strong technique. I mean, hey, just make a perfect consomme....

Other than that, my weekend was swell, and I look forward to next weekend's national holiday being spent possibly in Oly.

Lark Pie.

I got placed into my hands a book of such appeal and luster to my culinary soul that I had to share it with you.

The recipe that takes the cake is surely this:

Lark Pie.

First half of the recipe.

Second half of the recipe.

The pie. Note the lark's heads. You may also substitute other games birds, such as Corsican blackbirds, etc.

What about this wonderful Spiny Lobster en bellevue Parisienne? Note the truffle, butter lettuce, and lemon crown on sword garnish/coup de grace.

And the lovely Chicken Galantine on a metric ton of chopped aspic.

And this is what was once the height of fine cuisine. Now all these things would be either too heavy for our tastes, or too decadently expensive. That Lark pie is at least a $250 starting point cost, and that's using non-perigord truffles.....to refresh your memory, it's a meat pie with 2 types of sausage forcemeat, then it has 12 larks wrapped in bacon, each filled in with foie gras wrapped black truffles. This is a recipe I may have to try one day.....