Thinking back, and recalling my story, it's interesting to see where I've been since then, both emotionally, and physically.
When I left for Noo Zeelund, it was severely needed, and there were high expectations as well. Perhaps really, the highest expectations. My choice to go down there was a need for a break from my then-life, one of recovering emotionally and physically. I was beat. I was broken.
The fix? A return to the place I knew I was happy (as long as I wasn't working at the Skyline!) and where I could be in a world that was separate from one that had seemingly closed in on me, consumed me. And my return was joyous- the experience was in many ways what I needed. And, it failed, in so many ways- things that I wanted to happen.
The latter meaning that my desire to move to NZ, start a business and new life was, and still is, one of the more confounding questions in my life. I am still in the immigration system. I even sent an email to the woman (the one who gave me many headaches) in London earlier, telling her I still planned on pursuing that course. But it is not resolved yet; success is grey at best. The story hasn't been written yet, for sure.
But in terms of giving me what I needed, I had the time away from all the shit that pressed upon me, a decompression that my soul required. I was afforded the time to relax, see my friends, and camp in places that have no parallel in beauty. But above all, it was an opportunity to think. To think! What a luxury in our modern world. When we can escape all of our daily distractions, a person is allowed to go over an idea on multiple paths, allowing a comprehension or revelation. Our lives have too many distractions that can derail success in obtaining wisdom of life. I am a wiser man than I was. I have learned from my mistakes, and my triumphs, which there were actually some of.
Regrets? One can't languish in the past. Learn and apply the lessons to the future. It's not a new, original, or wild idea. But I learned it on my own, and I know it well.
With the return from New Zealand to the states, which, obviously isn't the short time I had originally hoped it to be, I've had some pretty trying times, mostly in the job searching realm. But now that I have a position that actually pays me an adult wage, and I can once again turn my mind towards the future. I have no idea what that choice is, actually, but I do know that I will be continuing along with NZ Immigrations easy 95-step process/hoop-jumping.
Because, why not?