Take this job and shove it.

As MLK said, "free at last! free at last! free at last!"

Yes, the darkest chapter in my life is over. And I only said, "serenity now!" about 800 times....

I did shots of cointreu in the parking lot with Morgan. And had god speak to me through a sculpture about doing what god?!??...Burn the Skyline down?!??! No I couldn't do that!!!.........could I?

No.

Anyways, I am finally in holiday spirits, and it's only 7pm Sunday Eve. Took me long enough, but when you're cooking for other drunken people, and getting lavishly cursed at, it's not so festive. So here I am, paste on my shirt from León the Bogan Piñata, awaiting 10:15 tonight for "X-Mas eve mystery mission. Bring flashlight and holy water." I made a cross; I'm so handy.
____
Flashback to last night real quick. There was this woman at the bar who I wanted to talk to, and she left, but then came back, and I sprung at the stroke of luck/opportunity. We were talking about the usual random things, and me being my funniest (in my head anyways...) and then I find out she's a married. And has kids. She was a hot Momma. Literally.
I pretty much stopped the conversation there, but for the record, I have now moved up from constantly meeting great women who have boyfriends to great women who have husbands. And kids.
My shite luck...

Happy Festivus, for the rest of us. And may you win all your feats of strength!